Real Friendship...

One doesn't know, till one is a bit at odds with the world, how much one's friends who believe in one rather generously, mean to one.  ~D.H. Lawrence


Its not rare to find that the world is full of fake relationships and so-called-friends who back stab you with a dagger you have given them for their safety purposes. You will eventually figure out and develop a sensor to detect friends and so-called-friends as time goes by. Sometimes you may not have a choice and may have to associate with people whom you know are not genuine. 


As time passes I have developed my censoring very well and I smell confident tricksters from miles. It's highly dissapointing that they break the trust you had for them and specially when you are someone who lives by the rule of appreciating the good facts of people who are even stereotyped to be evil and bad.


Life is a never ending lesson and with time and with every deed we learn. Sometimes forgiveness is the best comeback that you could have for those who ill treat you.

උපෙක්ෂාව...

බලහත්කාරයෙන්ම වගේ
නුඹම ඇවිත්,
මලානික හිත් අහසේ
දේදුනු පායවලා...
නොසිතු ඉසිඹුවක
නුඹම ගිය වග,
පන අදිමින් හිටපු හිත් අහසෙ
මලගම සිද්ද වුනු බවට…
සිදුවුනු සියල්ලම දරාගෙන
මම තාමත් හිටිවනම
උපෙක්ෂාවෙන් බලා ඉන්න වග,
සන්වේගයෙන් දැනුම් දෙමි.....

To Quit or not to Quit...

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

And the road you're trudging seems all up hill,

When funds are low and debts are high,

And you have to smile, but you want to cry,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

So don't give up though the pace seems slow,

For you may succeed with another blow,

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,

It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

                                            – Edgar A. Guest

ගැමි ලියගේ කවිය...

කල්පාන්තරයක් පෙරුම් පුරල
ඩින්ගිත්තක්වත් නොහිතපු වෙලාවක
මයෙ පාන්ඩු වෙච්චි හිතට ගොඩ වෙච්ච
මයෙ දෙය්යො...
කොටියා පරාද වෙන්ට රැවුම් ගෙරවුම් පැවට
ඔය ගල් හිත ඇතුලෙ මන් ගැන හීනි කැක්කුමක්
තාමත් තියනව නේද කියල කියන්ට මට,
මයෙ දෙය්යො...
කොයි ගම් තුලානට මාව දෙන්ට හැදුවත්
උඹේ පාමුල  ඉන්ට ඇත්නම් කියලම හිතුනම
තහන්චි මැද්දෙන් එක පිම්මට දුවන් එන්ට හිතයි
මයෙ දෙය්යො...
දළදා හාමුදුරුවන්යෙ පිහිටෙන්
කොලඹ රටේ සතා සීපාවගෙන් බේරිලා
හනිකට ආපහු එන්ට..
ලගින් ඉන්ට තහන්චි වුනත්,
දුරින් ඉදන් මන් බලා ඉන්නව
මයෙ බන්ඩාර දෙය්යො...

After a while...

After awhile you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.

With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on

Today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong

And that you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn and learn ....

With every goodbye you learn.

-Veronica Shoffstall

Disappointment ...

In your eyes, she ll never be good enough...

No matter how much she tries...

and there comes a time,

when she will stand up and shout:

"This is me damn it!

I look the way I look,

think the way I think,

feel the way I feel,

love the way I love!

I am a whole complex package. 

Take me... or leave me. 

Accept me - or walk away!

Do not try to make me feel like less of a person,

just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be

and don't try to change me to fit your mold...

I ll always be your disappointment... "

හීල්ලීම...

පුන්චි එකාව ඔඩොක්කුවෙ තියාන බලා ඉන්නවා මම පාර දිහා.. 

මට මතක් වුනා මම එක දවසක්

පුන්චි තිතක් වෙල නුඹ ඇස් මුවාවෙන් පිට වෙනකල්ම

බලන් හිටිය නේද මුව අයාන කියල.. 

හරියට නුඹෙ රුව බලන් ඉදිල්ලෙන් අල්ලගන්න පුලුවන් වගේ

නුඹම ඇවිත් නුඹම දොඩමලු වෙල නුඹම පිට වෙල ගියා

මම බලා හිටිය හිටි වතම ගල් ගැහිල වගේ.. 

නුඹේ හිතේ මගේ ගැන පුන්චි හරි තෙතමනයක් තිබුනනම්.. 

අඩු ගානෙ මම එහෙම එකක් තිබ්බද කියල එක සැරයක් හරි ඇහුවනම්

බන්දීද අද මම පිට බරවායට පිටි කර බෙහෙත්…

The Rat race...

Am I running the right race? Or a rat race?  What do I want to achieve in life? What is happiness to me? There are times in life where your thinking bulb suddenly flashes for most obvious things you have been dealing over for ages or better, your whole life.

Life is too short to run the wrong race and to realize it only at a latter stage. When you look at your life in retrospect, you should be able to say that all the sacrifices, compromises were for a good enough reason.

Taking the red pill and see through the matrix may not be so much of a thrilling experience. The bitter truth of our lives are realized to most of us, but the bitterness makes us get back to the matrix itself and be there till the last drop of energy of ours is sucked in by the Agents.

As laymen we try to achieve preset targets or goals in our lives and restrict ourselves to our own boundaries or prisons. We compare ourselves with the fellow sprinters and thrive ourselves to excel, in which we create a rat race. A few who can stand the effects of the red pill would select their race and run it mindfully and pass it to the next generation, and for the rest life is a competition.

All your childhood and most of your youth is spent on education and professional achievements. Then you get in to the cooperate life with the intentions of earning better to live better and to be happy but, you will be enslaved until your bones creek. You earn enough but have no time to spend it with your loved ones. You have missed so much in your life, that you feel the hollowness inside as you become old and repent as it is way too late to run the right race all over again.

Think about it…. Is this worth your life? 

Do what makes you happy and that you can enjoy doing day in  and day out. Be with your loved ones, spend quality time with them. Cherish every moment of life and learnt to be happy with trivial things. Don’t wait till you achieve al your targets to take a rest and be happy. Realize what you want out of your life and work towards that. Being mindful can bring a huge difference to your life.

Calm before the storm...

Cold wind blowing about

Throwing her umbrella over the hedge

Brushing her hair off the shoulders

As she walks along the empty street ahead

She has her no-emotions mask on

What a fine poker face it will make

One can say that she is in pain,

Or may be she plots to retaliate

The stillness follows the wind

Trees recovering their full height

She walks in the twilight towards her home

In the calm before the storm…

Pushing your limits...

It’s impossible to know how much you’re capable of until you decide to push your limits. But what is important to understand is that, our break point is at a very higher level than we think it is. In other words you can go on for long after you are done.

Its crucial to find out your break point, so that you know when to stop and until such times you can keep on pushing your limits. What you need to know is whether you are happy doing what you do. If you have your own meaning to what you are at, then its easier for you to excel. All achievements in this world were gained with commitment and sacrifice.

සාය...

නියන් සායට කෙඩැරිව කටොරව
වියැකී ගිය ඇතුපතරින් යුතු
පනා රුකක මුදුන් අත්තක වැසු
කෙසග  කවුඩකු මෙසේ සිතීය..
" අහො සුවදැති පනා මදුලක් බුදින්නට ඇත්නම්"...

Honesty about Dishonesty...

" Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid." - Captain Jack Sparrow

Nostalgia is not what it used to be ...

 

Thought of keeping a note about feeling nostalgic. Although not idealistic, as humans we all become nostalgic at some point of time. Sometimes it can be hard to understand or rather realize how things around you change constantly, although you want to keep things as they use to be, at their best. 

Best remedy for nostalgia would be to live the "real" than the "reality". You will at least be living a real life that way and be emotionally intelligent about your nostalgicness. The only thing that does not change in this world is the "change" itself. Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 

I am the Master of My Fate...

Thought of sharing this poem "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley.  

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Ohh This Waiting...

Ohh this waiting…

bringing bitterness to the hollow heart..

Cursing today for not prospering….

Regretting the times passed by...

Blaming others for the miserable boredom...

Waiting for the dawn to bring the light to life..

Ohh this waiting….

Happiness submerging in a sea of emotions…

Never to surface and see the light of joy…

As the soul gradually surrenders,

To the thick darkness of void….

Running restless in the rat race to no where..

Ohh this waiting…

Unaware how to make peace with life…

Never letting the heart seizing the day...

Content, wise, bold souls disappear…

Darkness creeping in to the minds...

Giving birth to zombies of sheer fear…

Ohh this waiting…

Never ending unhappiness….

Destroying the mare value of living…

Ohh this waiting…

Unless rationally stopped…

Will ruin all souls  for eternity...

A Reason to Smile...

A reason to smile
Is that it looks better than a frown
It makes you feel happy
With no sense of feeling down

A reason to smile
Is that your smiles so bright
You could replace our sun
Your smiles full of light

A reason to smile
Is you’ll always look your best
Even though you always do
You’ll feel more blessed

A reason to smile
Is others look up to you
They want to be the same
Someone who is true

A reason to smile
Is that it shows who you are
So just go on and smile
And shine like a star

මගේ සද ඔබ….

බොද වෙලා හීනයම අදුරු තිමිරෙක වෙලා
වසාගත් කළු වලා තිබුනි එහි පැතිරිලා
මගේ සිත් අහස තුල ඔබය තරුපති වෙලා
එලි කලේ විජිතයම අදුර හැර පලවලා

වෙලී ගති ජීවයම ඉසිබුවක සගවලා
ගොඩ නැගූ හැම  පවුරු නුඹ ඇවිත් සුනු කලා
සතුට සුන් දිවිය තුල සිනහ මල් පතුරලා
මගෙ මුළු ලොකයට නැවුම් බව මුසු කලා

මගෙම සොයුරකු විලස නුඹ ඉන්න හිමියනේ
නැත වරම් මගෙ ලොවෙන් පිලි ගන්න නුඹ අනේ
කුමට අප මේ ලෙසට ජීවිතෙන් හමුවුනේ
ඔබයි මගේ සද සදාකල්ම  මිහිරාණනේ..

Emotional Intelligence ...

Have you ever felt the numbness or the void of life, no matter how well your life flows. The high profiled job you do, your professional achievements,  the great education you have had, the society you are in, the activities you do as routine, sometimes doesn’t seem to make any sense. No matter how much of a busy life you may have, the void fills in somehow. It has kept me thinking, does any of this matter.. The way we dress, way we talk, what we do, it all boils down to nothing in the end.

I have been meditating since I was young. It has been my passion to understand dharma, to life a better lay life and to make the journey to enlighten my self ( nirvana), shorter. As a step towards the path of dharma, its best if one can live their lay life with emotional intelligence.  If you are wondering what emotional intelligence is, it can be described as the ability to identify, assess, manage and control the emotions of one's self and of others. Having the know-how of your emotions can help you gain the control of the day today activities and keep you in control.

What is known in Theravada Buddhism as the  right mindfulness ( in the Noble Eightfold Path) is the base of emotional intelligence. Make an effort to be emotionally intelligent and it will pay off a great deal in achieving the goals of your life.

Head Bump...

හා හා දොරෙ  හැපුනා හැපුනා
මට හො හො ගාගා ඇඩුනා
එ වාගෙ දොර පලුවක හැපිලා
මම පුදුමයි ඉතුරු වුනා

Yes.. it was such a hard bump. I couldn't figure out what happened till seconds passed by. I wanted to cry, but I didn't, it was that terrible. Luckily my friend came in for rescue and did the best to summon the pain. A whole day has passed by after the incident but the bump is still on and the pain is still not fully gone. I have better things to worry about right now, such as submitting the already lagging behind assignment to Uni, but had to write to about this.

සබද...

ඝිනිගත් කතරට් වැටි මල් වරුසාවට
හැකිවෙද සොදා හරින්නට මහා දූවිලි කුණටුවෙ හැඩ රැලි...
මවන්නට ක්ෂෙම භුමියක් මහ කතර මැද
උපද්දා මල් තුරු ලතාවන්...

ඉත්කින් ඉරි තැලි පොඩි වි
ආදරය වියැකීගිය ගිය මා හද තුල...
හැකිවෙද නුඹට තනන්නට
නැවුම් පෙමක් මනකලු...

Dear Friend...

Meeting you was fate,

Becoming your friend was a choice,

But falling in love with you was beyond my control.

I m so glad that you are at my side,

You ll be never forgotten as a friend for life. 
Because, Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest

but about who came and never left your side. 

On My Toes

One of my senior lecturers once said " If you want to get the work done, ask from a busy man". The more I think of it, the more it seems true to me. I myself feel like a ballerina as I m on my toes around the clock. But the best part is the way I feel about myself at an end of a busy day. The mare thought of utilizing every possible second of my life for something worth while overwhelms me.

Although I have been working full time as an undergrad, life was never this hectic.That was just playing two roles, not fully understanding the magnitude of your own actions. Being at a full time job, being a postgrad plus other commitments of your own isn't making life any easier, but the ambitions will keep you going. Trying to maintain a perfect balance between work, studies, family, friends, hobbies and your social life is not a very easy task but, the enjoyment of trying-to-make-it-happen makes my day. 

I must say, that I m content as to how life has turned out to be although it is like running a never ending marathon. The busy schedule has forced me to live by the day. It would drive me to the fence and ideally speaking, freak me out if I try to think of the to-do list for the coming month. But, I have promised my self to keep up with the resolutions and no matter how much I deviate from them I ll keep on coming back. 

In the end what matters is, living a life with no regrets. Carpe Diam !! Seize the day. Live your life to the fullest.

My Own Standards...

You may be one of those people who live by your own standards, rather than someone who follows the society standards. May be you are in between and rationally trying to make sense in what ever you do in your life and think you were born to serve a purpose.

No matter which ever you are and no matter how high your own standards are, at a certain point of time,  someone who cares about you ( although you may think he/she may not ) may question your standards and may ask you to stoop yourself up from where you are right now. This may startle you as to why you are being eyed on when there is so much evil going around the world and the words may hurt as if they were knifing you through, but you should be thankful someone out there is watching you and trying to bring the best out of you.

What I have learned  is, if it’s an advice to change you for the betterment, it doesn’t matter even if its from the devil, just take it.  Life is all about learning to live and living to learn and it keeps becoming better and better. 

Giving a Shot at the Mother Tongue

කොන්ක්‍රිට් වනන්තරෙ ගෙවෙන්නා වු ජීවිතය තුල ලද ඇසිල්ලක මෙසෙ ලියන්නත සිත් විය. මාගෙ භාෂාව පරිෂීලන හෙකියාව පිලිබද ගැටලුවක් මතු නෙවැ යයි සිතමි.
උපතින් සිහලුන් වු අප සිහල බස හැසිරවිම පිලිබද මනා කල දැණුමකින් යුක්ත විය යුතු වෙමු. නමූදු අප විසින් පරිශිලනය කරනු ලබන්නෙ අපගෙ වටින බසින් ඉතා අල්ප මාත්‍රයකි. ඔබට ඔවා දෙන මාද සිහලින් අන්තර්ජලයෙ යමක් සතහන් කරන්නට සැරසෙන්නෙ ප්‍රථම වතාවටයි.
උදවු දුන් සොයුරු සොයුරියන්ට තුති. !!!

Finding Happiness ...

Singleness is not a condition to be cured. Being single is natural-as natural as being part of a couple. In a society that seems defined by relationships-there are lots of assumptions about singles.

Happiness is not something you seek out in the form of a dysfunctional relationship. It’s something that you can create with or without someone in tow. If you can start to be happy independently of a man, it is very difficult for them to have the power to dictate every positive and negative emotion that you feel.

Bring out the full woman inside you and see the world in full color. Get use to be on with your own. In Fact, If you can't be happy with yourself, why would you think that someone else wants to? 

Take the time to look back at your path in retrospect. Make resolutions to be a better person, a better daughter, a better friend although you may feel you are one right now. Make a list of all the tom-boyish, ever craved activities you couldn't get on to and tick off one  by one. You will feel as lively as ever and the carefree life is actually envied by most ladies who may have tried to stand on your feet.

Make the best out of today. Live life to the fullest. "vive ut vivas" . Remember, you are not just single, but single and fabulous.

Better to ...

My mind has been a mix bag of thoughts today, but to conclude the day I will remember Lord Alfred Tennyson's words of wisdom:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Resolutions for '10

Dawn of a new year brings in fresh thoughts, fresh resolutions. My resolutions for the year goes as follows: Read, Reflect, Reconnect and Reinforce.

I m adamant that life will change for the better with the new resolutions although we need to admit the fact that not only victory, but failure is also a part of the life of a human. The more obstacles you face, the more wiser you become, provided that you take your lesson with reflection.

The days will pass by even if they were used for some useful purpose or not. So it is us who should decide to take the best out of what is offered to us. The past fears should be set aside, and you must conquer new horizons of life.